"Your eyes are like Egg McMuffins. Your hair smells like those little apple pies. And your lips are like..."

A jilted lover gave his ex-girlfriend the finger yesterday, wrapping up his severed middle digit and sending it to her at work in Manhattan, police said.

Then he called and asked her, "How did you like your Valentine's Day gift?" according to a law enforcement source.

Poor Mr. Phony. I just never realized he had so many issues.